Yes, I realize how pathetic that sounds, but it's true! I'm cursing its yummy goodness right now for the unexpected wrench it throws in the tenuous little plan I've built, house-of-cards style, for the next couple of weeks. See, here's the thing - as part of our home study we have to have a physical performed by our physician which includes a urine drug test. We clearly aren't drug users so no problem, right? Wrong. Wouldn't you just know that within the last month or so I have grown incredibly tired of all the "regular" salad dressings out there - easy to do when you make it a point to eat salad at least several times a week, I suppose - and whole-heartedly rekindled my old flame with poppy seed dressing. (Used to love it but hadn't had it in years...)
"So where's the problem?" you may be asking yourself. Problem is it seems that the old urban legend about poppy seeds and drug tests is not so much legend as it is an actual fact. Call me crazy, or cynical, but I originally heard this tasty tidbit from a rather "unsavory" character and thought that it was a bunch of bologna. (ok, ok enough of the food-and-taste-type puns...) But seriously, I never really believed it was true. Yeah, I know it was on Seinfeld, but Kramer also literally buttered himself to tan on the roof in Seinfeld too...still puts me in a consider the source kind of thing, you know?
Anyway, in a last ditch effort to shorten this already too-long story, I have single-handedly devoured more than two complete bottles of Poppy Seed dressing in the last month, most recently served on today's lunch, and, since I now know that it really CAN cause me to appear to have a heroin habit that would *obviously* disqualify me from adoption, I now have to determine the appropriate amount of time to wait before going to have my urine tested for the presence of illegal substances or foodstuffs with a bad rap.
I recognize this is small potatoes compared to the worries and concerns some of my Yahoo girls are dealing with right now, and this is NOTHING compared to some of the hassles yet to be endured, but it is rather inconvenient. And to tell you the truth, I think the worst part of it is not the extra couple of weeks to wait before I go for the physical, I think it just may be having to go back to ranch dressing until then! Ugh.